Another delay

(those pesky WBC numbers)

Last week, my White Blood Cell and Neutrophil counts were both too low for me to proceed with treatment. I took a week off a chemotherapy, did a lot of resting, and went back today to try again.

Unfortunately, though my numbers have rallied a little, they haven’t rallied enough. I was not able to receive chemotherapy today. This means I am really back to my original schedule, hopefully, but I will have skipped a treatment, which means the last treatment is now pushed into mid-July.

I have a lot of feelings about that, but I will not linger on them in this post.

To help boost my white blood cell count, I received a booster shot today and will get another one tomorrow. This is similar to the booster shot I was supposed to receive after my hoped for chemo today, but that one is a long lasting dose and today I received a ‘fast acting’ dose. The hope is that these drugs will help my bone marrow produce more white blood cells so I can receive chemotherapy next week. I assume moving forward I will continue to get this booster after chemo to keep my counts up (but things change constantly, so who really knows).

The nurse practitioner that I saw today was not the same one I saw last week, but they had talked about my numbers before my appointment. Victoria, my most frequently seen NP, told the one I saw today “Oh, she’s going to be mad about her numbers.” I am mad. And sad. And frustrated because I feel more helpless than ever. How do I know the treatment is working if I cannot receive the treatment (although it is definitely killing my white blood cells, so Yay?!?)? This seems to be a common problem, so why should I be surprised or saddened by the delay?

And yet, I am reminded that the God who cares for the birds and the flowers and that amazingly fat bumble bee in my picture above cares even more for me. This delay does not surprise Him, and I must trust that all things are working for His glory and my good. Just because it is hard doesn’t make it untrue.

Praises:

• My immune system is weak, but I have not been sick.

• This delay puts me back to my ‘originally planned’ schedule, and our schedules are flexible enough that this is not a problem.

• This has in no way caught God off guard. His plan is perfect, and I trust He is working for my good.

Prayers:

• Higher WBC and Neutrophil numbers next Monday

• Minimal side effects from the ‘booster shots’ (normal side effects are bone pain/achiness)

• Health for me and for the rest of the Finn family

• Peace in the midst of the drudgery that is chemotherapy treatments. Comfort when plans change. Wisdom for making plans and taking steps to keep everyone healthy physically, emotionally and spiritually.

• Smooth transition to a new insurance plan that starts April 1

As always, we are so appreciative of your love and prayers! If you would like to help, my GoFundMe and MealTrain are still active. We are so thankful we don’t walk this journey alone.